Concrete Examples

The concrete examples you use in your essays are the evidence you are using to support your argument. What makes them concrete is the detail you give them. The more information you give the reader, the more they can get into your head; thus, the more likely they are to agree with your argument.

Take for instance these pairs of examples:

• not concrete: This guy I know used to do drugs, which are bad, M'Kay?
• concrete: Bill Prater was on the fast track to early success. He was a star athlete, stellar student, and had the promise of executive material. Unfortunately, he discovered crack. After his first exposure to crack, he found that he was always wanting more and more. Within a year he was addicted. His entire life revolved around scoring some rock and smoking it. Soon he was off the team, out of school, and a resident of the gutter. Bill found out, through experience, that drugs can destroy your present and your future.

• not concrete: We were really mean to the Indians.
• concrete: As soon as Columbus inadvertently discovered this continent, he continued the European tradition of subjugating the natives. The natives of the Americas were driven from their lands through wars, the spread of disease from the conquerors to the conquerored, and through deceitful treaties. By the beginning of the twentieth century, the Natives of this country had been pushed off into the fenced-in areas of our deserts where they were expected to scape a living from the arid sand.

• not concrete: My first crush was a doozy.
• concrete: My first crush came at the tender age of nine when I fell head over heels in puppy love with Mary Jane. I found myself thinking of her all the time. At lunch, I would frog her on the arm, just to get her attention. I would have done almost anything to see her smile, to have her speak to me, to hold my hand. Of course, at nine, it's only a crush. Despite my infatuation, if she had actually tried to hold my hand or , God forbid, kiss me, I would have had to kill her on the spot. But, at that time, she was all I could think of.

See the difference? Make it real for the reader. Place them inside your thoughts and inside your head.

Go back to Organizing the Essay

Do some Concrete Example Assignments: